[x]

I used to want to die.Take a look at this papers background… It’s blank right?
That’s what your life is every day if you do nothing about it.
The world is your canvas you paint it, not anyone else.
Pick up your paint brush and paint a beautiful sky that you want to see everyday
Or YOU choose to paint a tornado that takes everything from you, and eventually takes your life if you paint it too many times.
Trust me. It isn’t worth it. I know that’s it is hard, you tell me you can’t do it but you can. My God or your God believes you can get through this!
He believes that you are tougher than every person around you.
He believes th

Brokeback PewdieCry[This fic is actually too long to upload here, so please go to my FanFiction account, or go straight (hue) to the fic here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9301339/1/Brokeback-PewdieCry]

Sleep ParalysisThe demon visited me once again today.

Yes, today. Not tonight or the night before or after; times you’d think a demon would be out. This demon knows no such boundaries, it would seem, and so it usually visits me in the morning.

I lay in bed, having woken up much earlier than I wanted or needed to, with my eyes shut in hopes of remedying the situation. My body relaxed several times, and I felt sleep just within my grasp…
But several times my body found some fault with the split second-imagery of my dreams and jolted me awake, leaving me frustrated, but not deterred.
I would prefer it to what happens next.
The final time I shut

I reread the note todayHe was so self-conscious that he began to come across as bizarre: a thin young man with gaunt cheekbones who slouched around the edges of conversations waiting for a chance to politely cut in, but to those more extroverted he seemed a creep or a voyeur. I knew him a year in silent passing before we had a conversation on the winding staircase beside the wall of windows.

Paused with intention, he stood above me and, backlit by a pale grey January morning, I could see all the blackened angles of his figure in contrast with his hands which rested bright upon the railing: smooth and golden, sparsely haired. When he smiled, he bared all his teeth,

Important You see a different side of a people when they sleep. Some people become rolling and boiling oceans, thrashing around in fits of emotional rage. Others become soft trains, riding down a long peaceful track. Even still, some make an unconscious decision to tell you their life story.
For me, my person becomes a beautiful place of serenity. Whilst he's awake, he's comical, vibrant, and alive. But sleeping, all of those wonderful attributes that make him him, they all become much quieter. All stress and anxiety seemingly disappear from under his radar, leaving only peace of mind and calm. While sleeping, he is more than beautiful.
Sleep is important. But for me, it is not for the reasons scientists say it is. It is a chance to find beauty in those around you where you may not commonly see it, Sleep is a chance to hold someone close, when you're too fearful while conscious.
Find your beauty. N

Forever LetterDear You,

I've known you for a long time and I thought that we could tell
each other anything, but now I know it isn't true. I knew that
your condition was worsening, but I didn't know it was so bad.
I found out that you had cancer the other day. You tried to hide
it from me, but I found the chemo dates in that pocket in your
bag you thought hid everything from the world. From me. From
me, your only trusted person in the universe. And that's not all
I discovered.

Those chemotherapy dates were expired, past. You've been through
maybe six or seven tests now. And I talked to your doctor about
it and he told me that you have maybe three weeks l

The Standard TwistWhat’s considered Normal
If we're all considered Odd,

Is Normal having no beliefs,
Is Normal loving God?

Is Normal picking up a smoke,
And lying down to rest,

Is Normal being better than you can be,
Is Normal really the best?

Is Normal a thing I can strive for,
Is it something I should be,

Is Normal the word you'd use to describe,
What you see when you see me?

In a world full of questions,
I like to ask myself,

If normal is something we aim for,
Why all those trophies on our shelves?

Because awards come from Oddity,
Where you do things with your heart,

And if you do them Normally,
You're hopeless from the start,

Oddity is what

A Stand for Sexuality.I’ve been waiting a while to get the chance and write this just to put it out there and try and make a difference. First of all;

Definition of Homosexual:
adjective
(of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction between people of the same sex: homosexual desire.
noun
a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.

Definition of Homophobia:
noun
an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.

Now I guarantee that so many people who are homophobic or are uncomfortable with homosexuals, bisexuals, or anyone that is not hetero

Twisted SmilesI stand here looking at the cloudy sky above me. It smiles its most maniacal smiles and laughs as rain begins to pour from the murky heavens. I simply stare into the rain and begin to smile back.

It is my most delirious smile, full of mischief and laughter. The rain responds with a quiet gust of laughing wind. My twisted smile, it curves even further.

I take a deep breath and laugh, knowing that inside of this madness, that this is where I want to be. It is here where my heart desires to be, it is here where I belong, it is here where I am immersed in this sunken abyss.

The raven with his call of laughter, he never seemed so loud. Even in

This ManThis man is different from Pa. He's like a distinct reflection, making my world and understanding different than before.

Ma says that this man once told her that Pa was stupid to drop our family. After that, I always sat in my room--well, a room not MY room--wondering..........what was so special about my family? We're probably one of the worst families there is. A lost woman, now the head of a bunch of lost members, a dazed teenager, an isolated gamer, a quick tempered girl and two pets, who would want to choose us?

His family is more interesting. His wife is one of the religious group leaders at church, his daughter is a high school gradu

If OnlyIf only you could understand the depths to which I hate myself; like a maniac bottled inside a cage with barbed wire around his throat. If only you could see the blood I've shed, bottled up and buried with the last remnants of my being, just to stop offending your eyes. If only you could fathom the horrors these two eyes have lived; so potent in the night, rendering me sleepless still. If only you could feel the fire burning in my chest; the relentless yearning transfixed behind thick walls of flesh. If only you could touch the longing; so desperate, like a fish that swims through sewers, calling out behind dark corners; begging for another l

Blame and TrustNo one really thinks about it when they pick up the knife,

“Yo-ho! I’m here, the party can start now baby!” a girl with dark brown hair, it could be easily be mistaken as black in shadows. In truth there was a faint violent tang to it from her most recent hair-dye. She wore a black tank top and blue jeans there were broken on the knees. A black wrist band and her hair was clipped up making it spike and bounce with each step. Her shoes were black but had a white stripe on the very bottom. She also wore a dark azure ring on the opposite hand, around her middle finger. The way her right side of her face was a long thick hair l

to everyone who gave me a fav to everyone who gave me a fav thank you very much

The American Nightmare*Caution: This story is not safe for young children. It is very scary.*
A little girl comes skipping into her house. She has a bright, cheery smile upon her face and she's holding dandelions in her hands. But soon, the smile is wiped off her face as she opens the fridge...
To her terror, there is nothing to eat. Sadly, due to her American diet and 1st world problems, the only food she is capable of digesting is soda, potato chips, and hamburgers. Not once in her life has she thought of trying some fruit or vegetables. For she is an American.
"Mother!" she cries, "There is nothing to eat!" The little girl falls to her knees and weeps because she's too blind to see that there is still food in the refrigerator. Her handful of dandelions fall to the floor along with her tears.
But there is no reply, because the hunger has already taken her dear old mother. And there is no reply fr

HeartbreakHeartbreak

Do you remember that time you met this guy who seem so great?

Course you do. This is about you as we all know.

So yeah, that guy what was his name again?

Who cares, it's not like anyone cares about him now, especially not you.

… One of those guys, one of those stereotype guys. You know those tall, dark, handsome type guys.

Oh yeah he was also mysterious.

Yeah one of those guys someone you could fall for, If you're not careful.

Unfortunately, that's what happened to you. It wasn't your fault really. He was good at hiding who he truly was.

Things are good at first but then again, aren't they all?

He made you feel

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DaydreamsI spend my life daydreaming,
I live for the daydream.
I don't like reality.
Because the reality of it is..

I can't hold you.
I can't kiss you goodbye.
I can't hold your hand.
I can't comfort you when you need me.
I can't hear your voice ring in my ears.
I can't be within arms reach of you...

Now does everyone understand why I live by the daydream?
It keeps me sane, I want it to be real, and for that short moment I believe it is..

Just so I can hold you.
So I can kiss you goodbye.
So I can hold your hand.
So I can comfort you when you need it.
So I can hear your voice ringing in my ears.
So I can be close to you.

Think of a TitleI can't do it... But... I think I have to? God I don't even know...
Forever, huh? .... That's a long time... Can either of us handle forever?
God I really can't do it...
Thinking about it makes my eyes water, my heart hurt, burn, beat erratically, and makes it hard to breathe. Is this room getting smaller? Am I in a tunnel?

"Oh these times are hard, and they're making us crazy don't give up on me, baby...."
"Should I give up, or should I just keep chasin' pavements even if, it leads nowhere?"

What the hell do I freaking do?
Does goodbye always have to be the answer?

Have I already given up?
I just don't know what to do anymore...

Why?Why do I cry when you seem to hate me so?
Why do I beg for forgiveness when you don't seem to care?
Why do I try so hard if it never seems to go anywhere?
Why do I fight to keep you happy if I always screw up?
Why do I want you to trust me so bad if you never seem to trust me?

So many why questions in this world....

Why?

I don't know.

Goodbye Tio...I hear the phone ring.
Tia Linda... Why are you calling me?
"Hello?"
Her voice is cracking...
Is that Grandma crying in the background?
"Victoria? Is you're dad there..?"
"Yes. He i—"
"Have him call me NOW." Her voice cracks, I hear a slight sob.
She hangs up, so I hang up.
"Was that Tia Linda? Is she upset?"
"Yes, she sounded like she was gonna cry. I think I heard grandma crying." At this point we're walking to my dad.
"Freddy, call Tia Linda."
"What why?"
I answer.
"She sounded upset, I think I heard grandma crying in the background." He dials as soon as he hears "upset."
"Freddy, it might be Nene." My mom says, t

When we're apart.When we're apart, think of me.
Imagine me always being with you.
Imagine my hand holding yours.
Imagine my arms around you.
Imagine me always being by your side.

When we're apart, and you need someone to talk to.
Call me.
Text me.
Do something.
I'll try to always be there to talk to you when you need me to be.
And I'll just listen if that's what you want.

When we're apart, and you wish I was there.
Look into your heart, cuz I'm there.
I'm right there, always saying 'I love you.'

And don't you forget it, little red. <3

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You really don't know?

by ~BleachManiacHere, Nov 1, 2010, 1:24:23 PM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

Of course you wouldn't, I never mention it with you.
The way my heart gets a sudden surge of pain.
The way I get more nervous around you when I talk to you.
How I always seem to long for your touch, even though it will never happen.
How I can see your face, hear your laugh, and 'feel' your touch.

Its all my imagination, I know it. This can't be real... it just can't. I feel like a hopeless girl stalking the boy she has liked for ages, waiting for him to make his move. Then I see he has a girlfriend and BAM! Immediate hopelessness.

You really don't know?by ~BleachManiacHere

Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

Just, don't ask. Its just something that popped in my head.

The person Im talking about... Do you know whom I am referring to?

~DominiqueG Nov 1, 2010 Hobbyist Writer

Heidi. yes I am a person, thank you.

Do you know who I am referring to.
Wow, that was hard.

Kiddo...
You brought a smile upon my face but a sting in my heart.
...I really didn´t know.

~BleachManiacHere Nov 2, 2010 Student Writer

Yeah, you are a person.

I know right?

... Ok.

~invaderheidi Nov 1, 2010 Student General Artist

....A PERSON!

~BleachManiacHere Nov 1, 2010 Student Writer

Nice Heidi, nice.

~invaderheidi Nov 1, 2010 Student General Artist

Indeedilydoo

~BleachManiacHere Nov 1, 2010 Student Writer

Oh yes.

~invaderheidi Nov 2, 2010 Student General Artist

Indeed

~BleachManiacHere Nov 2, 2010 Student Writer

Totally.

~invaderheidi Nov 2, 2010 Student General Artist

Mhmm

~BleachManiacHere Nov 2, 2010 Student Writer

yeah/

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You really don't know?by ~BleachManiacHere

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